When we think about what drives our thoughts and actions, we often don’t realize how deeply our early life experiences can shape us. Sometimes, these experiences create deeply rooted beliefs or patterns, also known as “schemas,” that influence how we see ourselves, others, and the world. Schema therapy can help individuals better understand and change these patterns, guiding them toward healthier, happier relationships and choices.
What Is Schema Therapy?
So, what exactly is Schema Therapy? Schema therapy is a structured, but flexible type of therapy that helps people identify and work through unhelpful thinking and behavior patterns, often rooted in childhood. It’s based on the idea that certain “schemas”—or deeply held beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world—can cause emotional pain and unhealthy reactions in adulthood. This type of therapy helps people recognize their personal schemas, understand how they were developed, and foster tools to help manage or change them.
Common Schemas: Patterns That Shape Us
Schemas can come in many forms, but some common ones include:
Abandonment – The belief that others will eventually leave or disappoint us.
Mistrust – Feeling that people can’t be trusted or will hurt us.
Failure – Believing that we will not succeed, no matter how hard we try.
Emotional Deprivation – Feeling that our emotional needs won’t be met by others.
Approval-Seeking – Constantly needing approval or recognition to feel valued.
As you can imagine, schemas can influence our relationships, career decisions, our self-esteem, and our everyday functioning. By identifying which schemas may be impacting our lives, we can start to reshape them through schema therapy.
How Does Schema Therapy Help?
Schema therapy is especially helpful for individuals who find themselves repeating the same negative patterns or struggling with low self-worth, intense fears, or difficult relationships. This therapy works by helping people recognize their schemas and understand why they might react in a certain way. Over time, individuals may be able to learn healthier ways to respond and in turn, break the cycle of old, harmful patterns.
Schema therapy can be beneficial for those dealing with:
Persistent relationship issues or conflicts
Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy
Difficulty managing strong emotions
Those using maladaptive coping skills (ie. eating disorders, depression, personality disorders, ptsd, etc.)
Anxiety or depression related to negative thought patterns
This type of therapy is especially supportive for individuals with long-standing issues that other forms of therapy haven’t fully addressed. It’s also ideal for anyone wanting to make deeper, lasting changes in how they relate to themselves and others. Some of the benefits that can come with engaging in schema therapy may include: helping to address your unmet emotional needs, change negative behavior patterns and instill healthier coping skills, as well as increase your emotional awareness.
What to Expect in a Schema Therapy Session
Schema therapy sessions blend talk therapy with practical tools that can be implemented in your everyday life. Your therapist will likely start by helping you identify your core schemas through discussions, guided reflections, and even a schema test. Once schemas are identified, your therapist will work with you to understand how they’re affecting your life and relationships. They’ll guide you through exercises to challenge these beliefs, helping you learn new ways to react that align better with your goals and values.
Sessions may also involve techniques like role-playing, journaling, or even imagining conversations with younger versions of yourself. This approach allows you to understand, connect with and heal the parts of yourself shaped by past experiences by seeing them in a new lens.
Finding a Schema Therapist
If schema therapy sounds like it could be helpful for you, finding the right therapist is key. Look for someone trained in schema therapy who can create a safe, supportive environment while guiding you through the process of uncovering and shifting through your deep-rooted experiences and beliefs, toward healthier ways to think, feel, and connect.
Alexis Lion is one of the few accredited Advance Schema Therapists in Singapore. She adopts a person-centered and collaborative counseling approach and has a widespread experience working with both children, teens, and adults to help them with a variety of issues ranging from mood disorders, eating issues, trauma and relationship issues. Along with schema therapy, she also uses a wide range of other counseling approaches to support her clients.
Taking the First Step
Considering therapy is a big step, and it’s one that can positively impact your life and even those around you. By exploring your inner patterns and beliefs through schema therapy, you gain valuable insights into what drives you, helping you break free from old habits and build healthier relationships.
If you’re curious about how schema therapy might help you, take some time to reflect on any patterns or thoughts you’d like to change. Seeking help is not just an investment in your own growth but a step toward building a happier, healthier community.
References
Psychology Today Staff. (2022, 25 May). Schema Therapy. Psychology Today.
The Ultimate Guide to Early Maladaptive Schemas [Full List]. (2021, 11 June). The Attachment Project.
Patterson, E. (2023, 23 August). Schema Therapy: How It Works & What to Expect. Choosing Therapy.
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